The Proposals
by Cearlya
Summary: In which Draco tries to propose in a myriad of ways only to have each fail spectacularly.


The Proposal (s)

Part 5 of my Hermione/Draco AU series. It is a stand alone, but the others are fun too!

Disclaimer: Disclaim! Disclaim!

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The first time that Draco Malfoy attempted to propose, he planned it well in advance, getting tickets to see my favorite band. He bought the tickets well in advance, and expected me to come home at the normal time only to be disappointed as the seconds ticked by. When I showed up back at the apartment, it was an hour after the concert was supposed to have started, exhausted and wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and not move for the next century, and so he surreptitiously hid the tickets, and then tucked me into bed, gently.

The second time Draco Malfoy tried to propose, he snuck out of bed in the early morning hours to write the all important words in giant glowing chalk. As he collapsed back into bed, he fell instantly asleep, not to move until at half past six when there was the sound of thunder and a downpour of rain as the heavens split, washing his message away instantly. He sat bolt upright at the sound and leaped to the window sill, staring in horror as the words melted away. I made a soft grumbling noise and he slid back into her bed, furious.

The third time, he attempted to get the waiter to write the words in chocolate sauce on their dessert and all was going well until one of dogs that looks like a rat belonging to one of the rich women in the rester aunt got loose and tripped the server that was carrying it, dumping the entire dessert onto my front. For my part, I managed not only not to get angry, but to smile the whole way though and he had a lovely time that night finding spots of chocolate all over me in surprising places.

The fourth time he attempted to propose in French and accidentally insulted me in some way that I would not explain to him after sniffling a bit and explaining that it was rather graphic. He managed to elude my attempts to ask him what he really wanted for a week, but Draco's patience was wearing thin.

The fifth time he showed up in my office with a bottle of wine, a rose, and a glass with the ring in it, only to cool his heels out in my receiving room until Penelope kindly told him that news arrived that I had gone strait home from Kingsley's office and that I was probably waiting for him there. Annoyed, he gave her the wine, the rose to the lady behind the desk on his way out and chucked the glass, sliding the ring back in his pocket, where it was determined to belong.

His last ditch effort was made upon finding out that my room at home was covered in stars that glowed in the dark, and, in an attempt to show me that he was willing to embrace my Muggle heritage, wrote out the words in the stars that afternoon. We then went out for a night of drinking with Ron, Harry, Ginny and Ron's girlfriend which none of us particularly liked, and when we returned we were quite smashed and fell asleep with the light on. The stars fell off the ceiling the next day.

I did not find out all of this until Draco finally snapped.

"I have tried to make this moment romantic. I have tried to make this moment fun. I have tried every trick in the book and for some reason, all of them have botched up, so I will focus on trying to get this moment done and let that be the end of it!" Malfoy burst into my study and I jumped, splattering ink across the page.

"Draco, what are you on about?" I asked it warily, it had been a while since his last 'episode' as I liked to call them. The times that made me remember that I hated him in Hogwarts. For his part, he was rummaging through his pockets.

"Bollocks and blast." He said, lunging through the door again. I heard a series of crashes and bumps and only had enough time in which to make the period at the end of the sentence and admire the carnage that had been a pristine paper before he returned. "If it isn't one thing or another, I swear."

"What are you talking about, Draco?" I said it in a very complacent tone and he gave me a wary look like I was rabid.

"That! I'm talking about that. About how ridiculously well you can handle me and I, you." He fumbled a bit in his pocket and then produced something small and shiny. He slammed it down on the table in front of me. "Hermione, I think we should get married."

"What?" I blinked and fingered the ring that his hand uncovered as he glared. "Why?"

"Do you not want to?" His face fell.

"That's not what I said. Why do you want to marry me?" I asked it reasonably, but he gave me that look that he does when I say something like 'House elves have feelings too," and "Harry and Ron are NOT a gay couple'. The kind where I can tell that he doesn't actually believe me but is calculating his next words carefully so that I will never, ever guess.

"You're pretty?" He suggested, gracefully collapsing in the chair across from me. I picked up the ring to look at it. It was a platinum band, simple but elegant, with a single diamond that was so bright and clear that I knew it had to have cost him a fortune. A piece of lint from his pocket was stuck on one of the prongs and I blew gently to get it off.

"How long have you had this? And you know that answer is not good enough." I chided him gently, running my finger along the ring, realizing that there was something inscribed on the inside. It read, From your foul, evil, loathsome little cockroach, with love. It made me smile that he remembered that I called him that so many years ago.

"You're smart." He said it pompously. "Good chance of having very intelligent children if you get my genes mixed in with you."

"Keep trying."

"And I guess I just really realized that it wouldn't be so bad having blue eyed curly haired children running around- oh merlin, think of the children!" He wailed and clutched at the hand that the ring was currently cradled in. "That hair! Never mind, I changed my mind- gimme back the ring."

"I am going to _hurt_ you." I said dreamily, admiring the stone set so perfectly in a platinum band. Merlin, the boy did not spare expenses when it came to engagement rings.

"I don't think you understand what I said." He pouted at me as he tried to pry the ring out my fingers. I wasn't letting go for the apocalypse. "Malfoy's cannot have curly haired children and they must be blond! I have suddenly realized that it is against my religion to get married to you, Hermione."

"Yes, well, is there anyone else who will put up with you?" I asked mildly and he looked questioningly back at me.

"I am pretty and rich. Do you really think I'd have that hard of a time?" He sounded surprised, like he couldn't even imagine why I would ask such a thing, much less agree that it would be possible. I rolled my eyes.

"Prat. A pretty prat, it's true, but still a prat." He looked mollified but redoubled his efforts on getting my hand open. He made a series of small grunting noises and got nowhere, my fingers being slippery from ink, they squirmed right out of his. "Give up yet?"

"Woman!" He yelled, staring at my hand like he was wondering if it would give up his very expensive ring if he gnawed on it. He was silent and then gave me a heartbreakingly sweet smile. "I forgot the most important reason why I want to marry you, Hermione"

"And what is that, Draco?" I asked calmly, determined not to give into his tricks.

"I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Give you curly haired babies. Buy a house that we can fight over whether the library will be colored with green or red." His tricks were tricksy indeed. I could feel my resolve weakening. He then shot me a sly smile. "And corrupt all of our children so they go strait into Slytherin."

"Ah, the truth comes out." I laughed and loosened my hold on the ring so he could take it from me and slide it onto my ring finger. He slid down onto one knee and kissed the palm of my hand, his lips warm and familiar.

"Marry me, Hermione Jane Granger, and I swear I will make you the happiest woman alive if not the most exasperated." His blue eyes stared at mine and I knew, in that moment that there was no getting rid of him. I debated for a moment longer than I needed just to watch the panic enter into his eyes. I knelt down so that I could wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.

"Of course I will, you silly goose." He kissed me back and I looked at my ring over his shoulder while we kissed. It shone brightly and I smiled against his lips. "So what is this I hear about attempts to propose?"

Draco laughed and pulled me over on the floor so that I could rest my head on his heartbeat. Then he began to explain.


End file.
